Some women after giving birth do not want to stay at home and are in a hurry to go to work. Before “returning to work” again, they have to solve an important question: find a suitable kindergarten or hire a nanny.
Most moms prefer the second option. The child remains at home, in a familiar environment, there is no process of adaptation, illnesses and other problems associated with visiting the kindergarten. Again, finding a good nanny is not easy.
Even if you manage to find a suitable candidate, do not expect that everything will go smoothly. The child will have to spend time with a stranger, and you will worry and worry.
Many parents do not consider it necessary to mentally prepare themselves for the fact that an outside woman will look after their child. When unpleasant situations arise, they cannot leave them with dignity.
If you do not want to repeat the sad experiences of other parents, read our article. Below are 10 things you should be prepared for when leaving your child with a nanny.
10. The nanny will follow the child’s request
A nanny can follow a child’s reason for two reasons. First, this woman is very kind and gentle. She really loves children and cannot deny them anything.
If your nanny is one of those, you can talk to her. Most likely, she will understand you and will follow your rules. Unless, of course, she wants to keep her job.
There is another reason: the grief-nanny will allow the child everything, if only he is behind. Cartoons, sweets, long walks - anything, if only the child did not interfere with her doing her own business.
In this case, the conversation will not help, you will have to find a replacement. Do not let the situation drift. If the child increasingly says: “And the nanny allows ...”, this is a signal that you should intervene.
9. The nanny will not lisp, she will be strict
If the nanny’s behavior is exactly the opposite, there’s nothing to rejoice either. Raising a child is primarily a task for parents. The nanny can look after him, look after, be engaged, but do not allow her excessive rigor.
The nanny should not punish the child, scold him, let alone use physical force. Unfortunately, such situations are not uncommon. If you notice suspicious traces on the child’s body, be sure to talk with him and the nanny.
A young child needs not strictness, but participation, support. It’s not easy for him, it seems that his parents abandoned him.
A good nanny will try to make contact and make friends with the child, she will not intimidate him.
To avoid controversial situations, put video cameras in the apartment.
8. The behavior of the child will change
If you notice that the child is behaving strangely - this is an alarming bell. Your nanny may turn out to be an inadequate person, especially if you hired her from the "street".
Even if at first glance this woman seemed to you the best candidate, be careful about the behavior of the child. Closure, moodiness, strange conversations - do not lose sight of a single trifle.
If a nanny tries to impose her point of view on a child, talks with him about religion or about relations between people, he will tell you about it sooner or later.
To avoid such problems, you need to contact a trusted agency or look for a nanny through friends.
7. Nanny without work experience
It often happens that a nice woman comes for an interview who hasn’t worked as a nanny for a single day, but “just loves children.” She makes a favorable impression. Parents at their own risk and risk agree to use her services.
This is not to say that this is a bad option. Here you need to pay attention to other factors: what kind of education does she have, whether she has her own children. It may happen that a nanny with no work experience makes friends with your baby and becomes your best assistant.
If you do not want to experiment and understand that entrust your child only to a professional, do not waste time on such workers.
Unfortunately, you can find out that the nanny does not have the proper experience already too late. To prevent this from happening, carefully check all information about the nanny.
6. Professional burnout
Not a single person is immune from burnout. If your nanny has such a problem, perhaps she will faithfully carry out her duties. She will feed the child, work out with him, walk, play.
That's just the nanny is not capable of empathy, she will not try to understand the child, sympathize with him. She works because she needs money. Children annoy her, what kind of contact can we talk about? Do not think that these are trifles.
The child will feel indifference, it will not lead to anything good.
5. The child will no longer want to stay with the nanny
One morning you may run into a problem: your child does not want to stay with the nanny. First you need to find out the reasons for this behavior.
If you do not notice any gaps in the behavior of the nanny, you are unlikely to be able to influence the situation. Adults often do not understand children. He may also refuse to sit with dad, grandmother. After a few years, he will not want to go to kindergarten.
If you value your work, you will have to solve this problem. Talk to the child, ask why he does not like to spend time with the nanny.
Maybe he just misses you. Then give your child as much time as possible in the evenings and weekends.
4. The child would prefer a nanny rather than chatting with you
Many mothers are afraid that the child will become attached to the nanny. This is also possible. Some babysitters behave with strangers as if they were their own. Adhering to the “golden mean” is very difficult.
Remember that no nanny can replace her mother if she loves her child and does not avoid communicating with him.
If the nanny consciously sets up the baby against the parents, it is better to say goodbye to her. Perhaps she has difficulties in her personal life, and she wants someone to love her. Let it be someone else, not your child.
3. The child will be spoiled, will become more moody
It has already been noted above that some nannies allow the child absolutely everything. In this case, your child will become uncontrollable, moody, spoiled.
Before instructing the nanny to look after your son or daughter, set the limits. The nanny should clearly know what can and cannot be done.
If you are faced with this behavior of a child, think about whether your work is so important. A child may not behave this way because of a nanny. The reason for this behavior may be a lack of maternal love.
2. The child will become closed
A child who is very attached to his mother will suffer greatly. If you decide to hire a nanny, get ready for the fact that the child can become withdrawn. He will be offended by you, think that you left him. This will undoubtedly affect his character.
If the situation is hopeless and you need to go to work, think about how you can help your child survive this period.
Spend evenings with him, call him from work. In this case, the nanny will also have to try to get the child out of this condition.
1. You will begin to abuse the transfer of duties to another person
When parents find a beautiful nanny, they feel relieved. Part of the duties can be transferred to another person. There is a risk that gradually all responsibilities for raising a child will be transferred to the nanny.
Parents want to focus on a career, achieve certain heights. Some mothers and fathers take care of their lives: gym, beauty salon, shopping, traveling, meeting with friends.
Do not forget - this is your child, the nanny will not replace parents. Take care of the child in order not to blame the mistakes of your children for poor upbringing, that is, for an outsider who you paid money for.