The first minutes of acquaintance are very important. This will help you in this list of 10 things that repel at the first meeting.
10. You are too selfless
You are struggling to please a new friend. But he not only does not show sympathy for you, but tries to get rid of you as soon as possible. You will be surprised, but this behavior does not make a very good impression. Of course, altruists are good people, but only when they help someone who really needs it. Imagine yourself in the place of your new friend. A stranger suddenly rushes to fulfill all your desires, surrounds you with care, fusses, worries. Most likely, you, too, will feel uncomfortable. You will be visited by thoughts that the person met you intentionally. You will begin to suspect him of all mortal sins. When you get acquainted, behave naturally, do not try to please, flatter, fawn. Such behavior, at least, will seem insincere.
9. You reveal personal secrets at the very beginning of the acquaintance
You meet people so easily that within half an hour of meeting you are ready to share all your secrets with your new acquaintance. You tell him about your health and the health of loved ones, do not forget to complain about your husband or wife, and boast about the professional achievements and successes of children. Such information is useless for your new acquaintance. Rapprochement of people should occur gradually. According to scientists, the most relevant topics at the beginning of communication are still hobbies, as well as childhood memories, funny situations.
8. You act in a way that the interlocutor does not like
You already realized that you should not try to please a new acquaintance. But rushing to extremes is also not necessary. If your interlocutor does not like your behavior, you are unlikely to see him again. There is no consensus on how to behave in order to leave a good impression. It all depends on the person with whom you made acquaintance. But try to be polite, pleasant in communication. It is not necessary to keep silent all the time, but to interrupt the interlocutor, not allowing him to insert a single word, is also wrong. Stick to the rule of the "golden mean", then the acquaintance will be perfect.
7. You hide your emotions
Do not try to hide your emotions. If you sit with a stone face, hardly anyone will like it. People need reciprocity. When they give their feelings back, they want to receive emotions. If your interlocutor jokes or tells a funny incident, do not hesitate to laugh back. Sad, sympathize, smile. But do not overdo it, remember that too violent reaction can frighten the interlocutor. He may have the feeling that he is communicating with an unbalanced person. Your emotions should be natural.
6. You are too annoying
In no case do not break down on a new friend. Whatever he does, whatever he says, keep yourself in control. Even if you are not interested in dating. If your new colleague can’t get to the bottom of the matter, or the new neighbor is trying to get into shopping after you, try to be polite. You may soon be in their place. Do not show your superiority to the service staff, do not be rude to sellers, waiters, even if you are not in the best mood. Otherwise, your interlocutor will think badly of you, and will be absolutely right.
5. You do not talk about yourself
If you are too secretive, you will also push away the interlocutor. Of course, you don’t need to tell all the facts of your life, but to remain silent is not the best option. Shy people talk a little about themselves, but they ask a lot of questions, trying to distract attention from their person. But this behavior may alert. And if at the beginning of the evening the interlocutor will be happy to answer your questions, then later the desire to communicate with you will gradually come to naught. Be a pleasant conversationalist, talk about your hobbies. You can talk about work, but do not complain about the bosses and a small salary. You can choose from a variety of neutral topics that are easy to talk about: travel, pets, favorite books and movies. So people recognize each other, but do not reveal the facts of their biography, not intended for outsiders.
4. You have an unpronounceable name
It seems that the name doesn’t matter much when meeting people, but it’s not. If you have an unpronounceable name, your new acquaintance may simply not remember it. Most likely, he will feel awkward and will hurry to get rid of you. Therefore, if your name is very complex, do not be offended when it is pronounced incorrectly. You can unobtrusively correct the interlocutor, but do not focus on this. Do not be indignant and say that no one is able to pronounce your name correctly. You may introduce yourself as a short form of name. If the name is foreign and very complex, let the other person call you the “Russian version” of the name.
3. You are not used to smiling
People who smile at their first meeting are more likely to succeed. In Russia, it is generally not accepted to smile at strangers. Or maybe it’s worth destroying this stereotype? Do not be afraid to seem stupid, smile when you meet. Your interlocutor will smile back. It will be easier for you to make contact. A smile attracts people. No one wants to communicate with a gloomy and gloomy person. But a smile will only help if it is sincere. The tortured artificial smile, on the contrary, will make a repulsive impression.
2. Veiled self-criticism
If you criticize yourself all the time, if you have low self-esteem, do not try to share this with your new acquaintance. Even if you do it in a veiled way. Many people try to brag so much, to praise themselves. They criticize themselves by flaunting minor flaws. Such insincere behavior will cause rejection of a new acquaintance. If you have too high or low self-esteem, it is better to consult a psychologist.
1. You mention meeting famous people
If you want to impress a new acquaintance, you do not need to mention acquaintance with famous personalities. If you studied at the institute with a celebrity or there is a star among your friends, you still should not boast about it. Most people think that this will give them significance in the eyes of others, but in fact it can cause negative feelings. People may think that you are showing off, some may feel envy. Or in general, a person will think that if you have such acquaintances, it will not be interesting for you to communicate with ordinary people.
Finding a common language with a new acquaintance is not so difficult. Be yourself, observe elementary rules of politeness and etiquette. Behave naturally and a new acquaintance will soon grow into something more.