Openness helps us deal with fears. He gains freedom.
But there is a flip side. You can’t be frank with everyone. Otherwise, you have to pay. Someone can blame, someone will later slander.
But, on the other hand, openness helps you get an outside opinion about the situation, think it over. And not always after a frank conversation condemnation and hostility follow, sometimes another person can help and support.
If you are condemned, then it is because it is you who cause negative feelings, but only because your story has touched their souls. They have their own injuries, stories that you recalled with your statements. Being open is not so bad, but there are still topics that are not worth discussing with others.
10. The manifestation of heroism
A person commits a heroic deed, because follows the dictates of the soul, he knows that this is exactly what had to be done. He will never talk about his feat.
Those who are willing to risk their lives for other people should have received a decent upbringing, i.e. will not boast. He does not care about fame and public opinion. The desire to achieve fame at any cost is rather characteristic of weak, dependent people. Such behavior will not make them a national hero, but rather become an occasion for ridicule.
Heroic deeds do not need advertising, society sees them so. The realization that you have overcome difficulties was not at a loss - this is already a reward.
9. Gossip
Usually gossip is made by people who envy the well-being of another person or who would like to take revenge on him. Sometimes gossip lovers are those who have low self-esteem. They are happy to spread gossip, because it helps them exalt themselves. Some people have too few bright events in life, and in a similar way they have fun.
As we see, a happy, strong, self-confident person will not gossip. This is a favorite pastime of flawed, unhappy people. Surely you do not want to get into their ranks. Therefore, even if you heard gossip somewhere, you should not tell it to others, but it’s better to immediately stop the interlocutor, to transfer the conversation to another topic.
8. Spiritual knowledge
Almost every religion has its own stages of spiritual growth. You cannot reach a certain level if you do not work on yourself. If you were able to overcome the next step, do not tell other people about their successes.
You may not be understood, because the interlocutor may not be interested in this topic. And the obsessive desire to save another will cause the opposite reaction: it can forever push a person away from the search for truth. Each has his own path of spiritual growth, this must be understood and accepted.
7. Good deeds
An Orthodox person cannot be told about the good deeds that he has done. This strengthens pride in him. In addition, the Christian expects this to help him go to heaven. But if he told others about his act, he was already rewarded. They began to praise him, to extol his kindness, to set an example. And this good deed later will not be counted towards him in Heaven.
One who is far from faith should also not praise himself. We don’t like those who boast of good deeds, flaunt their help to others. Instead of praise and approval, public condemnation can be obtained.
6. Financial soundness
Now people have different income levels. There may be people in your environment who are much better off than you. This can make you feel like a "rogue", creates an awkwardness in communication.
In addition, we have a widespread opinion that wealth is directly related to human skills and the ability to sell them profitably. Accordingly, the one who knows nothing remains poor, and people would not want to feel like losers.
Those who have no problems with money also do not like to talk about it. There are some friends who, having learned that a person is well off, can ask for a loan and not return the money. Or they will begin to hint at expensive gifts, will be asked to pay for lunch in a cafe, etc. Therefore, it is better not to touch on this topic.
5. Mental abilities
Talking about who is dumber or who is smarter is the road to nowhere. Albert Einstein also said that every person is a genius. And if you judge a fish by that sign, whether it can climb a tree or not, then it can live its whole life, considering itself a fool.
Each person has his own strengths. Developing them, he can achieve a lot in this area. And it makes no sense to discuss other people's or their mental abilities, because it may look like boasting, condemnation or flattery.
4. Future plans
If you want your plans to come true, don't share them with other people. Professor Peter Golvittser believes that when we talk about them to another person, we feel complete. In our thoughts, we have already completed this important matter, and it deceives the brain, it does not seek to do something to achieve the goal.
He was able to confirm this with the help of an experiment, 163 people took part in it. He invited them to come up with a goal. Then half of the participants shared their other plans, and the second kept it secret. Everyone was given 45 minutes. on actions that could bring them closer to the goal.
Those who kept silent about her worked all this time and worried that they were not in time. And the rest worked just 30 minutes. and got down to other things, because were sure that they did a lot already.
3. Other secrets
If a person has entrusted you with a secret, you can’t talk about it. Otherwise, you will forever lose not only his trust, but also his sympathy. Imagine someone telling others about your secret. Would you like to maintain a relationship with this person? Nobody likes talkers and can be left alone.
If you know that you don’t know how to keep secrets, tell about your weakness before you are entrusted with a secret, or transfer the conversation to another topic.
2. Personal problems
Each person has his own problems and difficulties. Talking about them, we hope that they will sympathize with us or even help to solve them.
But what can an outsider do? His head is full of his deeds and concerns. He can only sympathize and after some time forget about them, at worst - gloat. If you are counting on help, it is worth discussing the situation with loved ones.
1. Family quarrels
Quarrels in the family are normal, because they help splash out the negative. But do not interfere with outsiders. You can make peace in a day, and gossip will walk for a long time between friends. In addition, often "friends" act as instigators, fan the conflict, supposedly protecting the offended side.
But only family members themselves can understand what is happening, because people from the outside do not know all the details of what happened and may give the wrong advice.